I really hate music sometimes
Probably the worst thing about being a very musically-inclined person is that most music sucks. Not only that, the people who are into music, maybe even the same music as you, are probably assholes.
There is some law of the universe that the intellectualism or popularity of an activity increases the assholes attracted to doing that activity. Music is both something that is very popular and something that requires a bit of technical knowledge and practice to perform (or interpret, if you’re a dancer). Thus, the amount of assholes interested in music, performing music, and dancing to music is truly astronomical. I reference radio DJs and the Body Police dancers for all the evidence I need.
Regardless, I just used to skip from station to station when the commercials were over and the DJs started talking to avoid hearing the stupid racist, classist, homophobic, sexist shit they’d inevitably spew.
Now I have to switch stations because of the actual music lyrics, and I don’t even listen to rap or hip-hop. These are the song that I encountered just in my commute this week:
Girls are gold-diggers:
The girls with the bodies like boys with Ferrari’s
Girls don’t like boys,
Girls like cars and money
-Good Charlotte, “Boys & Girls”
Women with their deviant sexuality are dangerous:
You’re a gluttonous queen: narcissistic and mean.
Kill me romantically, fill my soul with vomit
Then ask me for a piece of gum.
Bitter and dumb, you’re my sugarplum.
You’re awful, I love you!
-Ludo’s “Love Me Dead”
Women are exchangeable blobs of flesh with a mouth to stick your penis in, which you like, which is their fault, because you like it enough to be “addicted”:
I’m so addicted to all the things you do
when you’re going down on me, in between the sheets.
All the sounds you make, with every breath you take.
It’s unlike anything, when you’re loving me.
Oooh, girl, let’s take it slow.
So as for you – well, you know where to go.
I want to take my love and hate you ’til the end.
-Saving Abel’s “Addicted”
In the pursuit of happiness, women are commodities too:
Let’s make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.
I’ll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and fuck with the stars.
-MGMT’s “Time to Pretend”
Shut up while I grope you in the club:
I’m so bored, oh please, don’t talk anymore,
Shut your mouth and get down on the floor,
So cynical, poor baby,
I can dish it, cos I know how to take it.
-Cobra Starship’s “Guilty Pleasure”
I’m a good woman, and you’re a whore:
Second chances they don’t ever matter, people never change.
Once a whore you’re nothing more, I’m sorry, that’ll never change.
And about forgiveness, we’re both supposed to have exchanged.
I’m sorry honey, but I’m passing up, now look this way.
Well there’s a million other girls who do it just like you.
Looking as innocent as possible to get to who
-Paramore’s “Misery Business”
Thanks for making my dick feel good. P.S – I don’t give a shit about you as a person:
I wake up with blood-shot eyes
Struggled to memorize, the way it felt between your thighs
Pleasure that made you cry: feels so good to be bad
Not worth the aftermath, after that
Try to get you back
I still don’t have the reason and you don’t have the time
And it really makes me wonder, if I ever gave a fuck about you
-Maroon 5’s “Makes Me Wonder”
Oh, and vintage hip 90s sexualizing violence:
You let me violate you
You let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you…
It’s your sex I can smell
Help me, you make me perfect
Help me think I’m somebody else
I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
And don’t forget, we also find dominating and killing you sexy:
I want to hold you close, skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, and close your eyes girl. So lovely, it feels so right
I want to hold you close; soft breath, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear, I want to fucking tear you apart
-She Wants Revenge’s “Tear You Apart”
These are our idols. These are the people that are paid millions of dollars so that us common people can have the priviledge of watching them perform.
I didn’t even bother to include the two thousand or so songs that portrayed women as sex objects. When it just comes down to singing about love or the opposite sex, it seems that rock stars fail astronomically. These are the people we are trusting to form our cultural identity.
Well, that explains a lot.
I wonder why I even bother to hope, anymore, that anything good comes out of popular culture. Hell, I wonder why I even listen to music at all, considering that I can’t even tune into a female singer without a “whore” quip (see Paramore).
Sounds like the above all took music lessons from this guy: