Makeup is relevant

You’re going to talk about makeup? Isn’t that, well, entirely regressive of you?

Yes and no. It’s true that things like the rape culture or horrible exploitation of women around the world look obviously more dire and disgusting than the American beauty double standard. It’s also true that they ultimately result in more death and abject misery.

But this sort of brush-off of the beauty double standard entirely misses the point: sexism is pervasive and maintained by things as meaningless as grooming regimens. The reason women are required to wear makeup, and men are not, and the reason why women own less than 1% of the world’s wealth while working two-thirds of the world’s working hours—paid and unpaid—are exactly the same. That reason is patriarchy, sexism, bigotry, and chauvinism. Whatever the name, it’s all just hatred of women.

Talking about make-up is a big no-no among the liberal feminist crowd. Even those that are not adherents of “SexyFun Feminism” ask those man-hating radical dykes to lay off their precious powders lest they be painted with the same brush as those disgusting radical feminists or lesbian separatists.

I’ll be honest here: talking about make-up and plucking my eye brows seems completely and totally irrelevant and superficial. I catch myself making that assumption based on a sort of “common sense”. Well this common sense might be common, but it’s certainly not sensible.

The mechanics of how and why the beauty and fashion industries operate the way they do—here and elsewhere—all return back to the fact that the natural state of a woman is something that is vile, disgusting, and dirty in this world. Like Dworkin postulates in Pornography, women are regarded as nothing more than “cunt”. By cunt, she means an object whose entire nature is encompassed by a sexuality that is sinful and wrong and an object which is hurt because it wants it, and must be hurt because the aggressor has no choice… being manipulated by the object the way that he is.

Women are naturally cunts, or so the dominate social doctrine goes. Our bodies are shameful. All of are parts may be dissected and separated from our individuality, because they all—in sum or in parts—have the mysterious power of sexual arousal in the male viewer. We cover our breasts, the center of substance production for infants, because their purpose has been usurped by the unwanted reaction of the male gaze to that which they deem dirty. We carefully groom our body hair into pleasing shapes, or remove it all together, because of its socially-defined connection to filth, to smell, to age, to masculinity—all things a woman cannot possess. We cover our acne, painfully groom our eyebrows, lengthen our lashes, and paint our lips with a cocktail of chemicals considered, by some, too toxic to even test on animals.

All this because the natural form of the woman is unclean, is filthy, is wrong.

An anticipated objection is that some men find body hair acceptable, and a lack of makeup refreshing. But this too takes place in the realm of male sexual arousal, and does not reflect the cultural norms. Still, the acceptability of a woman’s appearance is tied to whether or not there is some man—any man—that could produce a boner.

It is entirely legal, and I would bet extremely common, to fire or refuse to hire a woman for not following beauty ideals. It has been upheld in a higher court of law: a woman does not have the right to seek employment where her required grooming regime is equal to a man’s, financially and otherwise. You will be endlessly punished and harassed by local law-enforcement and justice systems for daring to shed your top in the hot sun like men have been allowed to do for millennia. If we fall outside the restrictive and, for most, impossible standards of thinness, our wages suffer while men’s do not. Street harassment is the punch-line of everyone’s joke.

Do any of these things have anything to do with makeup? Of course they do. Makeup is related to rape, to genocide, to death, to abuse, and to income gaps. Makeup is just another way that the patriarchy asserts its dominance over our images and bodies and punishes us for failing to meet the grade. Since the grade is always changing and usually impossible, we all fail in some way, and all women are punished.

Today is the two-month anniversary of the day I stopped wearing makeup. I haven’t worn any, not even mascara, once. Even when I broke out, I never bothered to find my powder. It was fairly easy, you see. I travel quite a lot, and one day, I just forgot to unpack my makeup. It sat in the corner of my closet, behind a bunch of other junk I didn’t feel like moving at the time, so I just went about my day without it. Before long, it had been a week. Today, it has been two months.

I have reclaimed so much. I don’t spend upwards of hundreds of dollars a year on shit I slather on my face to cover up breakouts that that shit caused in the first place. I sleep up to fifteen minutes longer in the morning. I get ten extra minutes for my lunch break because I don’t need to go to the bathroom to reapply my makeup. My contacts last longer because they’re not being contaminated by my eyeshadow, eye liner, or mascara. I rub my eyes when I’m tired without worrying about smudging something.

But that’s not to say it is easy. No, I have become hyper-aware of my appearance in a way that I haven’t been since I was a younger teen. Before I wore makeup, I was convinced that I was ugly. I began to wear makeup because everyone else did, and continued to wear makeup once my painted face became “normal” and my natural face “lazy”. I wonder if people wonder why I never wear makeup. I wonder if they think I’m a dyke or some sort of crazy hippie nut job. I know they at least see when I’m tired now, because I don’t cover up the bags.

This background noise, this static, is the endlessly cycling self-hatred of social indoctrination. I never set out to hate myself, but when all the women on the television and in real life look nothing like you (holy shit, I have pores and pimples like humans men!), it’s not hard to recognize the fact that by not wearing makeup, I’m doing something that is instantly recognizable as deviant.

But I’m extremely lucky. I don’t fall too far from the “beauty ideal”. My lips are not naturally thin or pale, my eyes are not small, my cheeks are not waxen, my eyelashes are not stubby, and my eyebrows are not sparse. Facially, if not bodily, I fit far better within the beauty ideal than many do even with a little makeup. My job encourages this sort of rebellion, being that I work at a politically-charged independent bookstore. I don’t think two of my three supervisions—and yes, all three are odds-defyingly female—wear makeup or heels ever. My mother doesn’t pressure me to wear makeup, and tells me I’m pretty anyways. Even my insensitive brother compliments me. I’m surrounded by a set of circumstances and wonderful people that make a requirement for most women an opinion for me.

My circumstances are not typical. Most women are expected to wear makeup on the job. Most women have apply it daily in order to even approach the beauty standard, especially those who dare to do something as disgustingly natural as have birthdays. Most women continue to wear makeup because they like the routine, they feel less beautiful and confident without it, or because the act of putting paints on one’s face bestows a set of opportunities that the natural woman cannot have.

That is not to say that women that wear makeup are wrong, morally or otherwise. They operate within a culture, a family, a relationship, or a company that would seriously impact their finacial and emotional states if they decided that wearing makeup just wasn’t for them. What is a choice for me, really isn’t for many others.

That is what is wrong.

It is not wrong when a woman choses to wear makeup of her own free will. It is not wrong when a woman and any man who so wishes decides that she or he likes the statement of heavy eyeliner and purple lipstick. These things are healthy explorations of self-expression.

What is wrong is when this “choice” is forced one way or another by necessity. Francine wears makeup because otherwise she wouldn’t get tips at her waitressing job. George doesn’t wear makeup because his construction site supervisor would undoubtedly fire him, and all his coworkers would harass him. This retaliations against those that dare to break the social norm—women who refuse to conceal and alter their filthy and wrong natural states or men that remind other men of women or homosexuals—are wrong.

My unmade face is a statement, a commitment, a lifestyle. It is a bizarre image of the natural in a world where only the superficial is acceptable. It is something that I could not do, and probably would not do, if I was not lucky enough to have the circumstances and support I do.

Makeup is serious business. It is just another symbol of that which women must do to facilitate or prevent boners, to hide and conceal our bodies and minds, to accentuate only that which is artificially deemed acceptable, and to place undue physical, mental, emotional, and financial burden on the lower gender in order to assure that only the rare few of us will ever dare to and be able to defy the hierarchy.

When I talk about makeup, I’m not talking about the absolutely inconsequential and irrelevant notion that a woman is good or bad based on “choices” are that only illusions. I am talking about where one thing fits within a massive network of intersecting abuses, hierarchies, priviledges, norms, and bigotries. I am talking about the patriarchy, and how when the revolution comes, even something as “inconsequential” as makeup will cease to exist within the sort of context it now does.

When I talk about makeup, I am talking about the notion, passed down through history, that I am ugly and dirty and wrong because I am a woman.

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Posted on October 17, 2008, in 101, Beauty Ideal, Gay Rights, Legal Illegalities, Media, Penis Brain, Porn Nation, Priviledge and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 24 Comments.

  1. Fantastic post! I like how you analyse the different pressures and expectations on women and men when it comes to their appearance, but you’re also aware of how wearing make-up for women isn’t a sign of patriarchal brainwashing, but necessary in order to get/remain employed etc. There are still heavy expectations on women to wear make-up and conform to white patriachal definitions of femininity, whether from the media, bosses, friends or family and as you say, you are lucky and somewhat privileged if you can throw off make-up 100% without facing some reprisal.

    I also maintain that examining beauty practices is nothing trivial. The whole beauty industry is tied up with that other exploitative structure – capitalism-; the toxins and untested chemicals in many products are increasingly showing to have detrimental effects on women’s health, not to mention the environment when it comes to sourcing some of those substances that are in the very expensive products.

  2. A lot of your arguments bother me.

    For one, you could say clothing means everyone “hates women’s bodies”. Or men’s! You could complain that there’s misogyny inherent in the fact that we don’t all go about wearing formless brown burlap sacks instead of clothing we find appealing.

    Self-decoration is one of the oldest forms of human behavior, which includes piercing one’s self, tattooing one’s self, and coloring one’s skin with temporary pigmentation.

    It’s not because the evil patriarchy wants to rape you, therefore forces you to wear makeup.

    Yes, some women enhance their appearance to attract a partner. That’s how attraction works. You might think that’s sexist, and that men should be interested in us even if we don’t wash or groom or try to look attractive, but, that’d be false. And it’s not something that needs to be changed. Attraction works by being attractive to what you wish to attract. No one owes their attentions to you.

    I’ve even seen that in your writings, that you fully expect men to groom for YOU. So if you want that, why is it sexist for us to do the same for them? Feh. I don’t get it.

    I don’t like the double standard ways you phrase things. I find them offensive. You might not realize you’re doing it, but while you think you’re defending women, you’re insulting a lot of us, and making us feel insignificant and stupid, like we need “guidance”.

    Also, it’s telling that you think a healthy weight is “impossible for most”.

    100 years ago it wasn’t. 50 years ago it wasn’t.

    It’s only the advent of cheap, easily accessible, incredibly fatty, garbage foods that people have started getting lazy and fat in record numbers.

    It’s not their glands, or their genetics. It’s their eating habits, and years of doing nothing to improve them. That’s why they have a hard time losing weight or keeping it at a healthy level. They’ve spent their entire lives NOT doing so.

    I don’t find it a coincidence that obesity increased with the amount of available junk food, and lack of exercise.

    All in all, no one is saying you are ugly and dirty because you’re a woman, and that’s why makeup was invented. It’s ridiculous to insinuate. WE invented makeup in the first place. Like I said, adorning one’s self is something humans have done for millennia. It’s not because some evil man said women are ugly and dirty and therefore must change.

    The attitude that all standards of changing one’s appearance will disappear if there’s no patriarchy is a little silly to me.

  3. No kidding! I’ve since picked up some of the makeup and powders and lotions I used to use and looked at the incredibly long list of ingredients. I know that at least one of them has to be toxic, another three are probably more toxic when they are mixed with ingredients of other products, and all the ingredients got into that bottle by outsourced cheap labor and a rape of the land.

  4. You could complain that there’s misogyny inherent in the fact that we don’t all go about wearing formless brown burlap sacks instead of clothing we find appealing.

    Really, why should I entertain slippery slope arguments?

    Self-decoration is one of the oldest forms of human behavior, which includes piercing one’s self, tattooing one’s self, and coloring one’s skin with temporary pigmentation.

    Which I acknowledged. Please reread the post. I specially said that the expectation and retaliation against those that do not “adorn” themselves in the socially popular fashion is wrong, not that adornment itself.

    No one owes their attentions to you.

    Again, reread. I have no wishes for people to sexualize my lack of makeup. I only wish to be treated as a human being no matter how I chose to adorn myself. How I am treated should not hinge on my adherence to the social norms, or how I inspire boners. Like I said—several times—my argument is that the “choice” of adornment is not a choice if one faces social, emotional, physical, or financial repercussions. I know that the equating of the radical feminist argument is extremely tempted to equate with castrating fascism, but it’s nothing new, nor is it anything approaching intelligent. My argument is against oppression. All I ask is that such blatant discrimination not have any place in our social mechanisms. The mischaracterization of my argument is rude and petty.

    You might not realize you’re doing it, but while you think you’re defending women, you’re insulting a lot of us, and making us feel insignificant and stupid, like we need “guidance”.

    Please. What rubbish. How many times must I specifically say that I am not attacking women? Do I need to put five bolded disclaimers on top of every post? You’re making yourself look stupid by completely misconstruing my argument.

    Also, it’s telling that you think a healthy weight is “impossible for most”.

    Most people will never be as thin as what is popular, nor can they get that way in any healthy fashion. I find it extremely telling that you think that you can pinpoint the causes of fatness, and look down upon the fat (with their “laziness”) whilst you have no idea of their lifestyles, their struggles, or their humanity. Massively funded medical institutions have pumped billions of dollars into dieting and weight loss research, and still nobody has found a way to make fat people thin, and stay thin. But you presume that you know, and that my objection to the way fat people are treated and discriminated against is wrong. Let’s pretend for an instance that being thin was as easy as you stupidly say it is. That still doesn’t justify the disgusting discrimination and mistreatment that fat people, especially fat women, face every day because of how their body does not produce a boner in the rest of the pornsick population.

    I suggest you educate yourself on the “causes” of fat before you presume to tell me that my argument is faulty. Likewise, it would be nice if you attempted to grasp the point of my argument before you argue against the “fascism” (lol, I want everyone to have a boner for me!) here with a very real fascism that is attempting to justify the discrimination against people that fall outside of the beauty ideal.

  5. Evening,
    Great post, and indeed the reason why I read “Beauty and Misogyny” by Sheila Jefferys (Melbourne Uni lecturer). I’ve always figured that makeup is to distinguish women and accentuate ‘feminine’ traits, and inherently (or blatantly) signify a measure of subservience, and – with the notable exception of body hair – never saw it about the covering up of ugliness and dirtiness. However I certainly see the point – and regardless makeup is still to homogenise, de-personalise and sexualise women for, well, male gain. And having heard the remarks about women not wearing makeup, and about wearing lipstick that men make in the pub, it certainly bloody works (although for the record, sexualised remarks about women who wear heels are worse).

    On a depressing-but-interesting aside, The Age reports:
    http://www.theage.com.au/world/indian-girl-set-ablaze-for-wearing-lipstick–reports-20081019-53s7.html

  6. Good on you for tossing the make-up. I stopped wearing it sometime around 2001 and I can’t stand it anymore. I have a friend who is into make-up like Howard Stern is into boobs and she sometimes talks me into letting her put some on me, then I spend the whole night rubbing my eyes and feeling like I need to take a shower. It’s actually really weird to put face-colored shit all over your face, isn’t it? And I’ve always thought lipstick was the most ridiculous product ever made (even when I wore make-up, I skipped lipstick). You put it on, then it comes off all over everything, you eat it, it disappears, whatever, then you put it back on?

    Anyway, I always like to see people connect femininity rituals to the wider picture. People like the commenter above assume the little things don’t matter, that we’re just “decorating” ourselves as people in many cultures/times have done, and that a little self-decoration has nothing to do with the P. They’re clearly… tripping.

  7. Awesome post Jenn.

    You did forget 1 thing though.. the double standard of conformity.
    Those who do conform are also given shit for being materialistic, vain and insecure and asking for it.

  8. Make up sucks. And I don’t think that the fact that makeup is largely made teenage Asian girls barely surviving on $1 an hour, in polluted and degraded surroundings, robbed of resouces is an aside to this issue. I think it is as central as the issue of social conformity and femininity. Guess what sex and race the people who make the money from make up are.

    I stopped wearing make up quite a few years ago. I decided that I was going to wear it on a special occassion in 2004 (I had an old stick of eyeliner in the bathroom cupboard). I was going to the Opera House and I had never been before. I got all dressed up, put the eyeliner on and looked in the mirror. It looked terrible!!! I looked so much better without it. My idea of what constituted beauty must have drastically changed from not putting all that muck on my face. So I took it off and went to the Opera House clean faced and gorgeous. So yeah. The whole beauty thing is a crock. I honestly think women who conform to patriarchal beauty standards are really unattractive. You know who I find really attractive? Sheila Jeffreys!!! My goodness but she has charisma. I know another young lesbian feminist who is bessotted with her too. It proves that patriarchal femininity is just completely stupid.

  9. Ha, I’m glad to see that there is plenty of feminist sisters that have trashed the makeup like I just recently did. Because I’m on a college campus, I feel like a total weirdo next to the uber popular SexyFun Feminists and their pushup bras and fake eyelashes.

  10. It takes a lot of strength to go against the grain Jenn, we sisters see it every day.
    Some just can’t/won’t find their own. It takes every effort just to stay sane.

  11. I am frightened by the toxins around us almost as much as I am frightened by the toxins within us:
    http://www.cosmeticdatabase.com/browse.php?maincat=makeup
    http://www.ewg.org/reports/teens

  12. Good for you on quitting the makeup addiction! I think you really get the point across in this post: the problem isn’t about wearing makeup, the problem is that there is no choice about wearing makeup.

  13. Jenn, I can’t tell you how glad I am that thinking young women like you are writing feminist blogs. It makes me happier and more hopeful than the patriarchs would approve of my being. And allecto! She and you both are sooo fine!

  14. Excellent post, Jenn, you’ve exposed brilliantly the sexism inherent in make-up politics.

    “By cunt, she means an object whose entire nature is encompassed by a sexuality that is sinful and wrong and an object which is hurt because it wants it, and must be hurt because the aggressor has no choice… being manipulated by the object the way that he is.”

    Ha! These are sheer pornography politics; this is pure porno-misogynist propaganda!

    “We carefully groom our body hair into pleasing shapes, or remove it all together, because of its socially-defined connection to filth, to smell, to age, to masculinity—all things a woman cannot possess.

    This is so sad. Men have their right to full bodily integrity in this society, and we, women, haven’t! For instance, a woman who is discovered to have hairy legs or pits very often risks harassment or cruel ridicule by men. In the case of make-up, women do not even have the right to their own face.

    “An anticipated objection is that some men find body hair acceptable, and a lack of makeup refreshing. But this too takes place in the realm of male sexual arousal, and does not reflect the cultural norms. Still, the acceptability of a woman’s appearance is tied to whether or not there is some man—any man—that could produce a boner.”

    Exactly, I definitely agree with that. Thanks for pointing that out, Jenn!

    It is absolutely outrageous that it is legal to fire or refuse to hire a woman for not following beauty ideals. Common? Yeah, I bet it is.

    “Makeup is related to rape, to genocide, to death, to abuse, and to income gaps. Makeup is just another way that the patriarchy asserts its dominance over our images and bodies and punishes us for failing to meet the grade. Since the grade is always changing and usually impossible, we all fail in some way, and all women are punished.”

    Absolutely! Make-up forces women to obey patriarchal conformity; and punishment -in one way or another (whether by ignoring, rejecting, abusing, paying less or ridiculing, etc) is highly likely for those who do not conform to the “perfect object” image men have created.

    “Today is the two-month anniversary of the day I stopped wearing makeup.”

    Well-done, Jenn! That’s a great beginning of refusing to conform to the status quo’s ‘beauty standards’. I think it has been two years since the last time I wore make-up. I personally stopped wearing make-up not long after I’d started reading Dworkin; she was explaining ‘gender norms’ politics in a patriarchal society so well…

    I used to go to clubs and wear loads of make-up…

    Stopping wearing make-up saves a lot of money too. All the capitalist industries want is your money…

    “… about makeup, I’m not talking about the absolutely inconsequential and irrelevant notion that a woman is good or bad based on “choices” are that only illusions.”

    Neither am I.

    “I am talking about where one thing fits within a massive network of intersecting abuses, hierarchies, priviledges, norms, and bigotries. I am talking about the patriarchy, and how when the revolution comes, even something as “inconsequential” as makeup will cease to exist within the sort of context it now does.”

    Wow, wonderfully said!

    Also, thanks for sharing your personal ‘make-up’ story.

  15. Nice post. I’ve also given up on make-up (and shaving). The last time I wore it was to a dance party on Labor Day. I used to think that because I’m a teacher I have to “look nice,” but I’ve realized that it matters not one bit whether I wear make-up or not. I worked at an RV park a few years ago where the job description — no joke — included a section about how women should wear a little make-up to look nice and to please the customers. It always made me feel gross that it was so specific and that I could maybe be reprimanded for not being pretty enough to check RV-ers in to the park. I don’t know what I’d do now if I had to work there again — probably just ignore it and do my job.

    BTW, nice fielding of Sarah’s troll-vomit. It’s a bummer that she’s over here too — she’s ridiculous on ND’s blog.

  16. Ha, I’m totally not surprised that most of the radical feminists, at least on the internet, don’t wear makeup. Reading Dworkin was also my stepping off point, Maggie, along with Naomi Klein.

  17. I found this post very thought-provoking – I agree it is relevent, but it is a bit of a ‘no-no’ to unpack the whole thing. Because of that, I can’t say I have very definite views on makeup and why society requires / demands women (or at least some women) to wear it. I’m not sure if I agree with Dworkin but I’m unable at this point to suggest a strong alternative. Needs more thought!

    Out of interest, how did people react to you deciding to stop wearing it? I mean, rather than people reacting to your ‘unmade face’, what did, like, your friends make of your ‘statement’? And on the street, have you found guys don’t look at you and you’re less susceptible to street harrassment? Are you ever self-conscious about it?

    Sorry to bombard you with questions, just curious.

  18. No, it’s no problem to ask. Most of my friends were already the types that didn’t wear makeup. All of my friends fall outside of the “norm” in various fashions (by race, hobbies, or sexuality mostly) as does my employment, so I was extremely lucky that when most people noticed it, the reaction was positive. The only negative reaction I get is from acquaintances and strangers. But like I said, I’m lucky to have good skin and “acceptably feminine” features without makeup. The reaction probably would have been a lot worse if I was older or worked in a traditional office.

    Guys absolutely don’t “look at me” as much, but I also around the same time started wearing baggier and more comfortable clothes. So the shift isn’t just because of the lack of makeup. The incidence of street harassment hasn’t changed, however.

    I’m always self-conscious about it, but less so as time goes by. Especially in periods when I break out or I have an event where I have to interact with “normal” people, the impulse to find my powder is high. When I encounter a woman in full makeup with heels comparing notes on her diet while I hit the bar again, I feel a short of shame. If anyone notices and makes a negative comment (some have), I paste on some false bravado and act proud of my willingness to be myself and eat food. One day, it will be absolutely true and not a show.

    Again, though, I have a very “alternative” job, an extremely supportive mother, and have the luck of being born with features naturally somewhere in the “acceptable” range.

  19. Haven’t worn makeup in about 25 years.

    I used to be all gung-ho anti-makeup, but what I see happening now: MEN will start wearing it, right along with women. Men are getting facelifts, botox, etc and already, actors don’t go out in public without added color and camouflaging blemishes. I see younger men wanting to look good, buying organic exfoliating gels and creams, moisturizers (Beckham admits he does), extravagant hair goo and so on. I see this getting to be a unisexual phenom…then, it really will be an individual choice, not related to gender.

    Just my 2 cents.

  20. Really enjoyed reading this – and so true.

    I stopped wearing makeup for camoflage about three years ago and have almost managed to stick to it. My boss was the first to notice. She asked me “are you all right? I’m a bit concerned that you’ve stopped wearing makeup, is everything okay?” But after a while I got used to it. My skin is quite “good” (by which I mean it conforms to the cultural standard of “good” skin) but I have huge, dark circles under my eyes (especially now I have a baby) every day which make me look tired. I do feel much more bothered about these than I should and very, very occasionally, if I have been ill, I do dab on a bit of concealer.

    I do wear makeup occasionally for decoration still. I do see this as slightly different – as you say, a healthy expression of self-expression.

    Also you may be interested to learn just how many of the large makeup companies are owned by Nestlé, possibly one of the nastiest companies in the world – certainly the most boycotted. L’Oreal, Maybelline, Garnier, The Body Shop (Anita Roddick, how could you?) and more. Nestlé is boycotted for a variety of reasons but not least because its aggressive marketing of infant formula in the developing world has lead to the deaths of millions of babies (largely but not solely due to the mixing of powdered formulas with dirty water).

  21. Ha, I’m glad to see that there is plenty of feminist sisters that have trashed the makeup like I just recently did. Because I’m on a college campus, I feel like a total weirdo next to the uber popular SexyFun Feminists and their pushup bras and fake eyelashes.

    My, how the times have changed. When I was in college [cough]twenty[cough] years ago, women hardly wore makeup. That’s when I first started going without it. No one got dressed up for class. We’d show up in sweats with our hair pulled back in a pony tail and no makeup. Sleep was more important than looking good.

    There are only two occasions when I will wear makeup (and not even a lot, just a little eyeshadow and powder on my nose to tone down the redness): a job interview and a first date. After that, they get the real me. If they don’t like it, fuck ’em.

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