Misadventures in the world of blogging
So I’ve been wrapping up my semester, and thinking all about my philosophy and finals and law. Updating the blog has obviously fallen to the end of the to-do list. Shame. I have a couple of things I’m working on that I might post.
Anyways, I wanted to share with you all this hilarious comment I received on an old post. It seems like my blog has made the rounds at various Men’s Rights forums, and a couple have dropped in uninvited to piddle on my carpet. While I always enjoy the douchebags who think it’s evidence of a VAST FEMINIST CONSPIRACY that I don’t approve their comments, it’s actually because (a) they’re douchebags, (b) they say absolutely nothing of substance, (c) they ignore my commenting policy, and (d) they violate the minimum standards of human decency.
So here’s a nice pile of poo a gentleman by the name of “Hmmm” left here. Consider this your trigger warning for violence, misogyny, and death threats. In short, just a usual day as a person with a vagina on the internet:
Does your husband know you are speaking or using his computer?
In fact, are there any Patriarchs that are aware of your writings?
You had better not get caught or he might decide to either beat you to an inch of your life or overpower you, your feminine Will and savagely rape you for what you’re worth. This will be up to him to decide..
It is simply man’s place to subjugate, use, abuse, rape and harm women, it’s simply what men were designed and ordained by the creator to do. As a result this has been the MOST PROMINENT experience in most women’s lives i.e. that of oppression from men…. If you would like to go to war you are welcome to raise arms but I warn you that you will be put right back in your place where you belong to service me both sexually and any other way I see fit and if you refuse I will simply force you to do whatever I want or simply extinguish you from existence.
All hail the Great Patriarch! I am Man ruler of and master of women! She, thy piece of meat, my servant wench from which the almighty male God created for my use and abuse…. I’m so tickled by my power and control over women.. It really is great to be the Great Male Patriarch! It is important that women mind their place, serve men and bend to our Will or you will be forced to submit, bent open to take what we give you……
Aww, how cute. He thinks he’s powerful. LOL. All joking aside, I’d say that comments like these are pretty much par for the course if you’re a woman blogging about lady business. But since I’m nice, I’m going to take a minute of my time to answer this lovely chap.
Perhaps a man of your esteem and lofty circumstance thinks the law is beneath him, but I think it might perchance interest you to know that threatening people with vicious acts of savagery is, unsurprisingly, illegal. Many a better and greater sirs have made the unfortunate mistake of assuming that the interwebs are a glorious free-for-all, but that is indeed not the case. We do live in a society in which threatening gentle women and men with random acts of violence is frowned upon. Afterall, the law has codified this disapproval. But since I assume that you are a nice fellow, I am compelled to think that you have simply been caught unawares by the passion of your — sadly mistaken — convictions. Instead of turning to a keyboard to vent your ire, might I instead recommend a fainting couch? Or a psychiatrist?
If it pleases you sir, perhaps you might turn to the information I have kindly included on my blog to answer your pressing questions. No, my Nigel does not know that I use my mouth for speaking, or my keyboard for typing. This state of “knowing” for my Nigel is quite impossible, given that my Nigel doesn’t exist. Alas and alack, that is verily because I take comfort in the pleasures of the similar sex. My Nigellete is thusly quite enamored of my keyboarding activities. We converse nightly with the aid of this technological marvel.
Patriarchs my friend? Oh, what an antiquated notion! Surely you do not mean my father? Frankly my dear, I do not give a damn. About the knowledge of my father, that is. Being of the much lauded age of majority, I assume my activities beyond his notice. He does agree with that notion, being that he lives many days away as the crow flies. Or the horse trots. Well, in all fairness, I do have to praise him for introducing me to this wondrous technology we call the internet when I was but smaller and less cooth. Strange, but he did seem to encourage my use of it. The mistake, I fear, is yours.
Might I suggest you find yourself nicer company? It seems that you have be taken by the notion that fathers and Nigels are in the frequent habit of unwanted sexual congress with their progeny and paramours. Nay, but I do not myself know of such men! Verily, I have heard many a frightening rumor of such beasts, but they seem to be unfortunate and, thankfully, frowned upon. Kinder company seems unenamored of such behavior. Perchance, whereby do you find yourself presently? It seems like a ghastly place — where such men are the norm and their behavior expected. I do so wish to avoid travels in that place.
As for the rest of your missive, I find it distasteful to comment upon. I recommend the aid of a learned physician. Once I overheard that hysterics are the unfortunate symptom of floating reproductive organs. It might be in your best interest to uncover whether or not your testes have been firmly tethered to your abdominal wall. Delusions aside, you do seem to have a rather lofty opinion of yourself. While a good sense of the self is always recommended, may I suggest the cooling of your passions? As we well know, success in moderation!
Alas kind sir, but I do not have more time to address your, dare I say it, sophomoric concerns.
Good day, sir. I say, good day!