Category Archives: Fuck Yeah
Setting aside my issues with gendered nouns and adjectives and the use of the male plural to describe a group of mixed genders, I really love French.
Why, do you ask?
My French composition course this week had a lesson about l’injustice dans la société [injustices in society]. I have an essay about injustices due this weekend (note: writing essays in another language is really difficult. Thus, I procrastinate until the last second).
On the list of vocabulaire utile [useful vocabulary] provided by my professor is the following:
le sexisme (un[e] phallocrate)
That’s right, the French word for someone who is a “male chauvinist (pig),” or has sexisme [sexism], is un phallocrate.
I knew I picked the right language to study. Expect later posts referencing phallocrats.
Wonderful Kate Harding of Shapely Prose has stumbled upon a great meme: the Fuck-t List. Because I wholeheartedly support delineating and rejecting asinine cultural rituals, here’s my non-exhaustive list of things I have no desire to do before I die that many people seem to think are awesome:
- Marry a Nice Guy and have a white wedding
- Try illicit drugs specifically for Cool PointsTM
- Participate in any sort of marathon-type activity
- Get Botox or plastic surgery
- Climb any terrain not suited for aforementioned activity, such as Mt. Everest
- Attend church regularly and/or “find God”
- Dye, straighten, meticulously style, or use more than two products on my hair
- Be considered up-to-date on all the trendiest fashions
- Purchase a purse, jeans, or shirt costing more than $100
- Wear heels high and uncomfortable enough to be “sexy”
- Ride, own, or interact in any fashion with a horse
- Age gracefully
- Wear a bikini
- Wear a thong or any lingerie with a purely decorative purpose
- Keep my cat off furniture
- Wear anything shorter than my mid-thigh
- Please people who are actually assholes, no matter how important they are
- Wax, pluck, or shave my pubic hair
- Give up meat, coffee, fat, butter, or dessert
- Read “classics” that everyone thinks are impressive but actually suck
- Pretend that I don’t think that the “meat and potato” white male navel-gazing philosophers I have to read eight times aren’t full of shit
- Own a brand new car, or any sort of SUV
- Really care about professional sports
- Develop a “wine pallet”
- Get really organized
- Fake an orgasm
- Have washboard abs
- Wear makeup on a daily basis
- Have a torrid affair with patriarchal dominant/submissive undertones
- Listen to NPR for more than 5 minutes without being filled with RAGE
- Apologize for my high moral standards, education and/or intelligence
- Get over my escalator phobia
- Become so wealthy I could hire someone to walk my dog
- Wear tiny pants. Fuck no.
- Wake up early for repetitive exercise
- Purposely seek to tan my white ass by either artificial or natural means
So my small but fantastic audience, what things would you include on your Fuck-t List?