Category Archives: Offended White Men

Sometimes being queer makes feminism easier

Before I go off, let’s set the record straight: being queer very often makes almost everything harder in your life (except, of course, for sleeping with women, but that’s obvious). Sometimes, however, you get some benefits out of it.

One of those benefits is how queerness intersects with feminism. Unlike other intersections, lesbianism has had it’s say in the feminist movement back even in the 2nd wave. Most intersections didn’t get any recognition until the 3rd. That doesn’t make up for the dominant preoccupation with heterocentrism in today’s mainstream feminist circles, but at least it means that I can find some feminist theory on being queer without digging too deep.

The best perk of being queer and being a feminist is the knowledge that I might never have to fight tooth-and-nail with male privilege in my romantic life. Sure, it affects it in secondary and very irritating ways, but it’s typically the case that any woman I choose to get involved with has internalized patriarchal values in a way that can be overcome without daily struggles over what they still find central to their gender identity.

Specifically, I am talking about the most important part of being male: a complete aversion to all things associated with femininity. Women never really seem to have as much success with internalizing the thought, “I’m not like those girls, so I don’t care what happens to them or think it’s just the Natural Order of Things™” that men do. Thanks to gender roles, men have to embrace feminism by rejecting what the patriarchy says makes them a man. Women just have to embrace feminism by stop being shits to other women and themselves. Plus, you can always say to a woman, “hey those Bad Girls you dislike? Well, according to statistics, bad thing X that happens to Bad Girls also happens to everyone else, and those Bad Girls are just normal women, just like you.” From there, it’s a hell of a lot easier to get someone to emotionally grasp that sexism is wrong, because it happens to people like them, and could very possibly happen to them.

Men, on the other hand, get the benefit of complete ignorance. Which is why men entering feminist spaces often ask women there to “calm down and be rational.” It’s really easy to be completely unemotionally invested in things that happen to people that are the complete opposite of you, by definition, and that will never happen to you in the way that they happen to them. Yes, men can be raped, men can be sexually harassed, and men can be economically disadvantaged by being a single parent. But they will never suffer the same reaction from the culture that women do, and they have a pitifully lower chance of going through any of that than the women who languish in a cultural epidemic of misogyny. Of course, it also helps that unemotional involvement is supposed to be the mainstay of masculine identity and the paragon of all things rational, so men’s biased flippancy gets a cultural stamp of legitimacy whereas women’s earned outrage is dismissed as shrill, irrational, and unpalatable.

And then there is the whole personal life aspect. Let me tell you, facing a life time of endlessly worshiping the ground my Nigel walks on because he does an equal share or somewhat equal share of the duties of maintaining a family sounds extremely unpleasant. Here, let me praise you for doing the amount of work that if anyone with a vagina did (i.e. less than half) they’d be labeled a bad wife/mother. Also, navigating the choppy waters of trying to object to the overwhelming emphasis on the idea that sex=dick (dick gets hard, dick goes in something, dick cums, sex ends) while having dick in my sex life sounds bothersome.

Most importantly, though, my queerness makes the most common objections to my observations of sexism in our culture fall apart.

Let’s run down the usual scenario: Jenn sees a movie. Jenn sees a metric ton of sexism and misogyny. Jenn objects. Resident chauvinist rejoins something to the extent that men like titties, and ain’t nothing wrong with that/ain’t no changin’ that, or women are actually really like that, or it’s just the biological destiny of humankind (they’ll say mankind though) that women will turn into stupid weak servile children around men because [insert bullshit essentialist evolutionary biology/psychology here].

Here comes the fun part. I get to reply, “hey asshole, I’m queer”. That means a lot of things in different contexts. It means that there’s a ton of women out there who don’t do stupid things for dick, because they don’t like dick. It means that I like titties too, so I’m not just objecting to sexism because I don’t understand what it’s like to be attracted to women’s bodies. It means that there’s people out there that don’t do things for a sugar daddy or some sweet pussy because they like people of their own gender.

And for my trump card, being queer means that men don’t have a single fucking excuse for excusing misogyny and objectification of women. Because I can seemingly still recognize that Meghan Foxx is quite far from unattractive without thinking that the pile of shit that was Transformers 2 was totally not sexist. I can be titillated by some pornography (I admit it!) without thinking that the marketing of a very narrow and restrictive version of female sexuality for consumption is wrong. I can sometimes feel like I need to have sex with someone with a vagina right now or I’ll be very irritated and uncomfortable without excusing raping someone that teased me or was “asking for it” or buying someone at an economic disadvantage to me so I can use and discard their sexuality.

So now what’s their excuse?

Plainly, they don’t have one. A sex drive that focuses on the attractiveness of women and having sex with women is not a good reason to ignore misogyny, like misogyny, think misogyny can’t be helped, or “helplessly” be a misogynist.

Considering all the shit I have to take daily without complaint because of being queer, I very much enjoy ripping a misogynist’s “but I can’t help it” argument to shreds with a simple revelation of my sexuality. At the very least, I might get to confirm that he’s a total homophobe—on top of being sexist—so I can end a conversation with the intellectual equivalent of a dining table and find less futile ways to spend my time.

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South Park… feminist?

South Park is my guilty pleasure. I remember turning the volume down really low at night so that I could watch it without my parents hearing. It was so deliciously foul—and it horrified my parents. What wasn’t to like?

Recent episodes have rekindled that warm feeling that deliberately foul and excessive toilet humor inspires. I thought that it really couldn’t get much better than when they parodied the bailout by turning the Treasury Department into a gaggle of idiots.

I suppose I was wrong.

For April 1, South Park released it’s newest episode, “Eat, Pray, Queef”. Which is exactly what it sounds like: 30 minutes of jokes about the sound air makes when it is expelled from a woman’s vagina.

In the episode, the men of South Park overreact to the queef, and the women in their lives that find it funny. Culminating in a Senate hearing in which a female senator queefs a monologue to Roadwarrior, the funniest part of the show was how my brother, who watched it with me, didn’t think queefing was as funny as I did.  It made him a tad uncomfortable.

Most astounding though, By the end, when the men ban queefing, one of the female characters has a monologue that is undoubtedly the most feminist thing I’ve ever heard on television, bar none. My jaw literally dropped. It wasn’t tongue-in-cheek, it didn’t reference bra-burning or any of the other anti-feminist bullshit memes.

Even more hilarious is how disturbed by the episode fans are on IMDb and elsewhere. I came across numerous posts about how queefs are “disgusting” (but apparently a talking piece of shit isn’t) and how vaginas are gross and look like “gun shot wounds”. Rather than just say that they didn’t like the episode though, numerous viewers gave it a 0/10 when asked. Me thinks this might be because they’re just mad that South Park pulled off a joke at their expense. I have to say, the reaction of people to this episode is even funnier than the episode itself. When pushed, the commentors will eventually resort to excuses such as “vaginas are gross” or “feminism is stupid”. Excuse me, wasn’t the point of satire to laugh at yourself? After being bogged down by the minuta of the bailout, an episode on how stupid it all was made me laugh at myself for taking it so seriously. Would it fucking kill people to laugh at themselves instead of other people? Apparently not. Which is extremely funny in a very dark way.

All in all, South Park still isn’t outwardly feminist, and still does have its problems (jokes about rape anyone?), but it was still the most feminist thing I’ve seen on television, for a general audience, ever. How sad is that? Even sadder, how many men are complaining on the IMDb boards about their butthurt that sexism isn’t funny? Way to get a joke, morons.

You Lost, Old Man

FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!

What women don’t get about men: we’re all whiny assholes

I cannot for the life of me imagine why Michael Bywater, a columnist at The Independent, even has a job, let alone gets paid to write such self-pitying sexist garbage. I am by no means a linear thinker myself, but at least I understand how to propose a main idea in a short essay format.

So here’s the main idea of this post: Michael Bywater is a self-absorbed douchebag who expects the world to tell him what he ought to do with his penis, being the center of his personality. Also, the world and all the people in it better please his penis, dammit, or he’s going to start whining.

Don’t believe me? Go read the article. Keep in mind that it’s only coherent if you read it as an argument for assisted suicide.

But suppose I take pity on you. For the purposes of snark and self-indulgent superiority, I will break down his long rant of Freudian asshatery for the scorn and mocking of intelligent society. By “intelligent society” I mean myself, and maybe you, if I decide you are a nice sort of fellow.

Michael begins with some sort of allusion to the time-old conundrum: my penis is separate from me, it says I must do bad things, thus I do bad things, and I won’t do bad things if I didn’t have a penis, so maybe I should chop it off, but I like my penis, but it makes me do bad things… ad nauseam. We already know that this is going to be a long synopsis of one man’s love/hate relationship with his penis.

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The rewards for capitulating to misogynists

What is clear from clips like these is the rewards for capitulation. Hillary Clinton was defeated partly by the vile and pervasive sexist media, and nobody believed her. She was belittled and shamed by cartoonists, other politicians, newspapers, and her own party. Clinton, however, was the closest thing to a feminist in a town serving as the American bastion of male privilege.

What about Palin? Palin is anti-choice. Palin supports prayer in schools. Palin is a veritable mouthpiece for the ultra-conservative Republican party who hold in the very highest esteem violent white heterosexual Christian wealthy men before anyone else. The message is clear: oppose men and you will be destroyed. Support men and the patriarchy and the state ownership of women’s bodies and you will be rewarded and defended. America is obviously no place for strong women.

If this election is anything to go by, I’d suppose that the glass ceiling has an entire posse–liberals and conservatives alike–repairing the cracks our sisters put in it decades ago. They will fortify it and guard it zealously, and only tentatively lift women near it if they promise to oppose all real power and agency for all other women. They will grease the sides of our great gilded cage anew, and clap merrily when some claim empowerment by taking off their clothes or becoming a false symbol of “progress” held as evidence of our country’s progressiveness whilst they are tapped to tear down the foundations that feminists labored for decades to lay. You please The Man’s politics of oppression or his throbbing cock superiority and you are rewarded with a false throne. You oppose The Man and you are mocked, belittled, and torn down. Your accomplishments are nullified. Your positions are ignored. Your character is warped. And they cross their legs and fear for their genitals in your presence while they and their cabal of media chauvinists collaborate for your destruction with the false invocation of comedy.

They should fear. For I hope that one day soon, the only thing that is torn down is their edifice of lies and misogyny. I hope it is cast into the dirt and their ideology is rent to pieces.

Dear Jeebus, what about the men?

So it was about damn time I did this post, seeing that how I’m getting some sort of audience now. In most of my recent posts, I’ve seen whole conversations derailed by the interjection of a man exclaiming “what about me? What about my oppression? What about my right to read only about the things that matter to me and not be offended or asked to introspect?”

For a while, I humored these questions. I discussed the issue of what it means to be a man for pages full of theoretical rejoinders. Sometimes, I even assuaged massive egos and avoided calling a spade a spade.  Of course, nothing was accomplished for several reasons: (a) I’m working off a perception of masculinity gained by social interaction, media images, and my personal experiences with gender roles while most men are operating off a perception of masculinity that mirrors themselves, and is thus largely positive to assuage the ego, (b) I speak primarily of oppression through the patriarchy, and there is simply no contest between the suffering of women verses the general unearned privilege of men gained through this system, (c) I actually really don’t give much of a shit about exceptions to the rule of “men oppress women” because in light of the continued fear and oppression I face every day as a woman, the one or two times in a man’s year that he finds himself at the mercy of women is inconsequential.

Let’s just be totally honest here: men own and run the world. They possess 95% of the world’s wealth and 99% of the world’s land. There has always been a male head of state in 77% of the world’s 195 countries. There is currently a male head of state in 96% of the world’s nations (exceptions are Switzerland, Ireland, Liberia, The Philippines, Argentina, Chile, Finland, and India). Women have almost never been able to historically vote until they were granted suffrage for the first time in 1893 in New Zealand.

It is an undeniable fact that women, for most of human history, were brutally oppressed and abused politically, socially, medically, economically, and sexually. The very proposition that that legacy is inconsequential today, or that the wounds of millennia are healed, is patently absurd. I refuse to even debate any statements to the contrary.

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Political cartoons that don’t suck

Update: If you thought that the name Barry Deutsch sounded familiar, that’s because he is the owner known by the penname “Amp” of Alas, A Blog, the very same person who sold his domain in 2006 for money to a review site (link obviously NSFW) for hardcore, racist, “teen”, misogynistic pornography. Is there a single male feminist-ally that isn’t a scumbag? After Kyle Payne and Alas, I’m beginning to think not.

Know what I can get behind? Political cartoonists that know what’s up like Barry Deutsch. Unlike Barry Blitt, his cartoons run the gambit from feminism to racism and war while displaying a shocking amount of sensitivity and political insight. Wouldn’t it be nice if we had more political cartoons like the above instead of this:

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In which I pessimistically call the 2008 Election for McCain

20080829wap_mccain_palin_500 I think it’s over folks. I really do. You heard it right here before anywhere else: McCain will win this election to the detriment of everything I hold dear. Who will be responsible for this tragedy? Who can we blame?

The answer is liberal men and pundits. McCain, by choosing Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate, will cause the most vocal members of Obama’s campaign and the Democrats to split the entire party in two. The only way this catastrophe can be averted is if liberal pundits realize that their mischaracterization and disdain for their monolithic idea of female voters, as blinded by the vision of anything with a vagina, will do nothing but drive actual women to seriously doubt the sincerity of Obama and his supporters’ claims of being for women’s issues.

I say that this is kind of proactive self-evaluation is currently impossible for the likes of male liberal pundits. The Democrats show no sign of ever regarding the concerns of women as the lynchpin of their party. My recent posts on Obama’s dismissal of a serious threat to reproductive rights and his pandering to evangelicals should be enough evidence. They are more content to tell us how to vote, blackmail us with visions of Roe overturned, and accuse us of stupidity than ask us to vote for them by addressing our concerns with something other than censorship and straw-man misconstructions of our goals.

McCain is not stupid. If Bush can win two elections with little political maneuvering, I think it is entirely likely that McCain can do the same given the fact that he has Obama on the defensive, and he seems to know exactly how to get liberals to put their foots in their mouths.

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Confession: I kind of like Paris Hilton

No, really. I mean, the woman makes a living by going to parties. There has to be some brains involved in that. She’s also been surprisingly well-behaved since the jail time. I guess she doesn’t bother me anymore. She never really did, in any concrete way. Hollywood is full of shallow men and shallow women, so I always really thought of Paris Hilton as the same song-and-dance, albeit one that did not even have to be good at acting to rake in the cash. I never understood the hatred that others expressed for her. I’ll go down on record by saying that Paris, by no means, is feminist in the slightest. I never had the heart to think of her as anti-feminist though, simply because it’s quite rare that a woman can be anti-feminist. I reserve that title for scumbags like Phyllis Schlafly, Ann Coulter, Christina Hoff Sommers, Ayn Rand, and Kathleen Parker.

I was unaware that Paris had anything to do with politics until McCain issued this:

First, to McCain: really? Am I supposed to be impressed by this faulty logic? Of course Obama is popular, he’s running for President, nitwit. If he really wanted to, I guess Obama could attack you for being a household name too. Except, that’s kind of a stupid idea, because being popular when you are running for President is not exactly a bad thing, you know.

Apparently, Obama is popular in the exact same way Paris Hilton is. Oddly enough, for me, I like Paris more than I like Obama. Wait, what? I suppose this is because Paris Hilton is not threatening in the slightest, whereas Obama has the potential to run this country into the ground if he so chooses. Recently, I also get the feeling that Paris is more capitalizing on her popularity to produce satire of herself than actually being as snotty and stupid and others bill her as. This opinion is further cemented with fantastic rebuttal videos like this:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Yeah, this is scripted. Jokes about Paris Hilton’s intelligence aside, I have to give her the benefit of the doubt by saying that anyone that agrees to do such a fantastic video cannot be stupid. Furthermore, I kind of want that bathing suit. For someone that purposely says rather silly things on camera, Paris can, and does, sound like she knows what she is talking about. Even if she does not, at least she has the smarts to fake it.

I’m probably a bad horrible feminist for saying this, but my neutral feelings for Ms. Hilton have been transformed now into relunctant feelings of like. I can’t tell whether or not that is a good thing.

Mussolini and Hitler would hate me

So I’ve done quite a bit on deconstructing sex-positivism and anti-abortion, and I’m frankly quite tired of both issues.

Regardless, two terms I see thrown around a lot to describe my views are Feminazi or Fascist.

First, may I take this opportunity to say that anyone that expresses such sentiments in anything other than jest is an enormous fucktard whose most frequent use of their cranium is during a self-colonoscopy.

For the life of me, I simply cannot think of two political movements more fundamentally anti-feminist than Fascism and Nazism. I attempted to illustrate this with the lovely photo I uncovered from the internets of two female anti-feminist neo-nazis, wearing their idiocy across their chests and displaying it on a flag.

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